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Dec. 15th, 2002 @ 03:51 pm you know who you are...
alright...i wasnt being a bitch yesterday. i didnt say anything in a bitchy way to you so how could i be a bitch yesterday? please explain to me how that goes? and also...uhm im not gonna call you when i want to do something with you becuase obviously you dont want to do anything with me. you called me once in a matter of three weeks & just kinda forget about me & pretty much said "fuck britney" & go hang out with your two :new: 'friends' & just ditch me & you are mad at me?? uhm no i think i should be the one mad at you..you have no reason to be mad at me. no reason at all. you ditch me & lie to me one weekend & then call me once durring three weeks & just stop hanging out with me & then once you actually do talk to me you say im being a bitch. oh no wait...you tell someone else that i was being a bitch so not only doing all that shit..but now talking shit behind my back. and i NEVER told you about my suspicions with clay & allison so you have no right at all, what so ever, saying that your sick of me talking about it. when my suspicions started, it was the weekend you guys ditched me & i have only talked to you once since then, so once again you have no right saying that. ya know...soon your gonna realize that hanging out with your two new 'friends' is gonna get you in trouble & what your doing every weekend is gonna fuck up your life. yeah rolling is fun & drinking & all that shit...but you have a lot of things going for you, your just fucking it all up. but thats your problem. your actual :best friends: all think you have changed & for the worse. ever since you started hanging out with your two new 'friends'. yeah you may be a fun person now...but you were a fun person before.
ya know...im not gonna say anymore because its most likly not gonna get through to you. so fuck it. all im gonna say is...thats pretty DICK.
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Dec. 1st, 2002 @ 03:42 pm this ones to manda....
thank you...you made my day. your the best.
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Nov. 30th, 2002 @ 09:56 pm fuck people
Current Mood: hurt
so its official. i cant trust anyone. A-N-Y-O-N-E. not my friends not my family. yeah i can trust some people, but the people that i actually thought i could trust, i go to find out that i cant trust them as much as i thought i could. isnt that just fucking marvelous? right now im so pissed, i could beat the shit outta someone. i really want to too. they know i dont like liars. i finally trusted them & they pull this shit. & its something stupid too. so why should i be pissed? well since i dont like liars & they know that & if i found out they lied...well they should know i would be pissed. & the thing that makes me so mad right now...the worst thing, is that i heard them say it themselves.


::ya know...you always tell me that i can trust you about shit & that you wont lie to me...well what the fuck did you do tonight?::
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Nov. 30th, 2002 @ 04:04 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: pissed off
whatever thats bullshit. fuck that. i dont even wanna hear the fucking lies.
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Nov. 29th, 2002 @ 06:11 pm hmm
yeah so listen to this...my aunt talks to her therapist about me. and she gave me this book to read that her therapist gave her & its called "What You Feel, You Can Heal". sounds pretty gay huh? well actually its exactly how i feel sometimes. like i guess my aunt was exactly how i am when she was my age & she knows what im going through & knows how i feel & she ran away when she was about my age & she knows that ive attempted to run away or at least have wanted to. she told me that i always need a "safe person" that i can run to or that i can talk to & shit. & she said that shes gonna try to be my "safe person". it actually makes me feel kinda loved that shes doing this for me. she says she doesnt want me to end up like her when i get older. :she use to be so angry all the time & she use to get in these moods & she use to get real depressed, but now she takes medicine for it & it helps her not be that way, & shes had to see a therapist for a long time:. so yeah isnt that some shit that im a conversation starter between my aunt & her therapist?? hrm
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Nov. 28th, 2002 @ 09:46 pm i miss my buddy evan...
LilRedBabe169 [9:41 PM]: happy thanks giving
LcKnStcK87 [9:41 PM]: happy thanks givving to you to
LilRedBabe169 [9:41 PM]: thank you
LcKnStcK87 [9:41 PM]: you know what im thankful for?
LcKnStcK87 [9:42 PM]: havin a good buddy like you
LilRedBabe169 [9:42 PM]: haha same here

thats my buddy evan. hes a great kid. i wish he still lived down here. so today was pretty good actually. i reached my goal...which was to take my grandpa driving b/c he was being sarcastic about me being able to drive & saying shit like "well when your getting ready to drive call me first so i can get off the road real quick"...ya know, the stupid shit adults say to be funny. so i took him driving & he said that i did very very well. so i was happy. & i got a lot of presents. for my late birthday. & i still get more saturday when im with my daddy. yipee. but im getting off now b/c i gotta try to call clay back....again.
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Nov. 28th, 2002 @ 12:32 am last few minutes of my wonderful day
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: polyamerous::breaking benjamin
wow do i feel special. so many people said happy birthday to me today. lex, clay, jordan, julio, manda, my mom, randy, my dad, my grandparents, the lady at the dmv, the people at The Olive Garden, ian, evan, steph, ryan, eric, my uncle, my neighbor, tyler, richard, fuck i cant remember everyone else. oh well.so yeah so since i last wrote in here today i went to the olive garden for a "birthday dinner". just when i was thinking :hell yes no ones gonna sing to me & im gonna make it out of here safe: the people started singing & brought a cake out to me. & i saw katie there. then we had to stop off at publix for some shit & guess who i saw there. the only person i knew i was gonna see that i didnt want to. tj. i dont think he saw me tho so its all good. then we got home & i took a shower & then did my own thing from there on. so lex is awesome i must say. she called me while i was out & left a message on my answering machine saying happy birthday & some other shit. im gonna keep it on there for a while. & i must say clay is the absolute greatest for coming & seeing me today for my birthday. ya know tho...i was kinda hoping someone would at least talk to me today but they didnt. it would have put me in a lot better mood today. but oh well shit doesnt always go your way right? correct. but all in all i had a wonderfulness day & i loved it. but i am feeling a bit sleepy so i guess i shall go to bed now. goodnight everyone.
~Me
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Nov. 27th, 2002 @ 03:41 pm wahoo!!
TODAYS MY BIRTHDAY! TODAYS MY BIRTHDAY!! im so happy. & i have my permit too. i went & got it this morning & manda came with me. then we got dunkin dounuts & i drove to my grandmas work & then home. manda got me a very pretty necklace & some balloons. & clay got me balloons too. then manda spent the night last night & we went & got my permit & then came home & about 45 minute later clay came over to say happy birthday. he gave me flowers & a card! hes so sweet i must say. but then manda had to leave & then later on when clay was leaving maggie & her mom & her sister pulled up in my drive way. i ran out to the car & as soon as she got out of the car i gave her a big hug. she started crying haha. she gave me a home made birthday card & two pictures of her with her braces off & a very long letter. after i read the letter i must say...i cried. i'll admit it. aww Ian just told me "happy b day kid" haha hes awesome. i miss him. & Evan. hah & look at this.....

LilRedBabe169 [5:50 PM]: greetings oh holly one
FBMAN2000 [5:51 PM]: how do y ou do keeper of the key of the temple if christ
FBMAN2000 [5:51 PM]: or briteney

ha thats cody...hes awesome too. very very funny. julio & bj said they would come see me today to say happy birthday but i dont think they will. julios my #1 stalker & phillip is my #2. ha long story. so right now im very happy. b/c of what i did & clay & manda were here & maggie came to see me & ian told me happy birthday & i have my permit & just b/c its my birthday! & im not going to see my dad tonight. yeah he doesnt want me coming over b/c "all i would be doing is going there to sleep" but i had a schedule to stay at his house the whole break but nooooo he doesnt wanna do that & now he doesnt even want me coming over tonight. but he said were just gonna do my birthday on saturday & he called me today from work to wish me a happy birthday so its all good. clay is the sweetest guy. i love my flowers! alrigt ha im done. bye!
~the birthday girl :hah:
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Nov. 24th, 2002 @ 06:20 pm yaaaaay!
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: pardon me::incubus
i got to see gary! i got to see gary!! oh im so happy. i didnt do anything friday night so he came to say hi to me for about a half an hour or so. i havent seen him once since he moved down here & i finally got to see him! god i missed him. hes like my brother. (ha & we could even pass off for brother & sister b/c we both have red hair) that made my night when he came to see me. i feel so loved that he would come see me when he had other plans. ya know? but yeah so i didnt do anything saturday durring the day. except went to drums, which i got that changed to 4:00 on fridays. yay. so now i dont have to rush to get home for when i go out on saturday nights. then actually went to the movies with lex & clay & actually stayed there. we had some fun. we saw a bunch of people we knew there. then i came home & ate & talked to clay for the rest of the night on the phone. i love our conversations when we talk at night. then today i didnt really do anything except went with my mom & randy (her boyfriend) to my grandparents house for my grandpas birthday. it wasnt that bad. & now im home. yes & im quite cold right now & i dont know why. hmm but yeah im done.
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Nov. 7th, 2002 @ 06:31 pm im still sick dammit
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: good vibrations::beach boys *hell yeah*
yup so i was feeling pretty good yesterday & this morning i wasnt feeling that bad. but all day i felt like shit. well not exactly all day but pretty much. & right now is one of the times that im feeling pretty shitty. im talking to jake!! hell yes. i miss him so much! so clay showed everyone my pictures that he got yesterday. even tho he told me just this morning that he wouldnt. but amanda got some of my pictures so im letting clay have one. the ones that he had today i eventually got & ripped them up. then he got mine & amandas book. oh shit, bad bad bad. oh well. so im supposed to be starting mine & sarahs & brians project tonight...but i really dont feel like it, & moms not home yet & i need to go get shit so its not my fault. oh my god! jake just told me that he wrote me a note in october & didnt get a chance to give it to me before he moved, but hes gonna. that just made the rest of my week. like seriously. i miss this kid so much. so yeah i kinda have a headache coming on. and i still havent talked to maggie yet. since monday. thats a very long time for me & her not to talk. wow. shes in big big trouble. but uhh...its her own fault so whatever. yeah so anyways... look at this...

"sexa" (loserstar) replied to your LiveJournal comment:

your the best. better than anything i could ask for. and SOMETHING WILL happen. haha. ill call you tonight.

thats also made my day. im all she has...:big big YAY:..i love that girl, good times good times.but yes so my cool friend greg is leaving me either on the 12th or 13th. what shit is that man!?!?! hes not even gonne be here on my fucking birthday! :( you dont even know how much that saddens me. really. im gonna miss him lots. and if i had nuts, then right now i would be freezing them off b/c im sitting right infront of an open window & its oh so cold. so im going now.
~brit
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Nov. 5th, 2002 @ 06:33 pm blllah
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: no music this time guys.
so thanks to lex i think im getting sick. ive had a sore throat for 2 days now & im starting to lose my voice. its starting again...only this time we dont go to the same school so its not as bad, i guess. jesses talking to me. hmm. yay. i got fucking stung by a damn bee today going to 4th period. it hurt pretty bad but then i went & got some ice & i was a big girl about it. then tyler kneed me on the side of the head today on the bus. but he didnt mean to. somy throat is bothering me right now. my friend sarah called me today. shes so cool. shes funny as hell. shes always in a cheerful kinda mood tho. but oh well shes still cool. its better than her being depressed all the time. so clay read all of mine & stephs note book today. there was kinda a lot of stuff in there about him too. but it was all good stuff i think so oh well. & then he wrote in it. oh man. but yeah so i dont think im gonna go to school tomorrow. well i might try not to anyways. but im not sure yet. so i talked to josh for about an hour today on the phone. hes the greatest. cool cool guy. i had to help him out with his girl problems. b/c im his best friend. yay. so we started this project in science today. im partners with sarah & shawn. oh man...thats gonna be one hell of a project. not. were gonna get such a bad grade...& none of us seem to care. ha. but im done writing for now.
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Nov. 1st, 2002 @ 10:54 pm hehehe
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: earshot::not afraid
well i just got back from the movies with clay. i had a wonderful time i tell you. he thinks im a freak now tho...im really not i say! but ALLL day he was mad at me & was ignoring me so i was crying all day. damn emotions. so but yeah other than that...well no i shouldnt really say i had a good day b/c it was a very shity one. but it was good. you know what...i love my cool friend greg. i really do...hes just awesome. and bj...hes the greatest i must say. so i met clays grandma tonight...she seems like a nice lady. so i kinda made this new friend. hes a senior & hes really fat haha but hes soooo funny. his bus has been riding my bus in the afternoons lately. they do that sometimes actually. he made me give him a high five the other day. it was funny. i didnt get to see gary tonight dammit! :tear: but thats my moms fault b/c the dumb bitch didnt feel like driving me to bonita movies. oh well. for some damn reason i keep getting bit up right now. in my house. how weird is that...b/c theres no fucking bugs around me. oh my god im so hungry. all ive had to eat all day is 4 cookies & that was at lunch. & i wanted my mom to stop & get me something to eat on the way home but the dumb cunt said no...but when we got home randy got her food from taco bell but she doesnt want it so theyre giving it to me.yay. but im getting bit up real bad for some reason & i gotta pee & im gonna go eat so im getting off now. bye all.
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Oct. 27th, 2002 @ 01:23 pm wahoo
Current Mood: grateful
*YAY!*
i got my live journal back!! thanks lex! im a happy girl now. i missed it.
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Oct. 19th, 2002 @ 10:50 am well damn
Current Mood: tired
so yeah you know how my dad comes & picks me up at 10 on saturday mornings?? well i set my alarm last night for 9:30 & when it went off this morning, i remember waking up & thinking "oh well ill just sleep for 2 more minutes..thats it tho". but then i woke up again & it was 10:04. i was like shiiiiiit. b/c i still had to get ready & shit. & so i busted my ass to be ready within the next 5 minutes. but it was good b/c i was ready & my dad was only waiting on me for about 3 minutes. so right now im very bored & i want to be at the beach. it looks soooo pretty out. but i think im gonna go lay out in the sun instead b/c im kinda getting a tan :hell yes: & i gotta keep it this time.
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Oct. 18th, 2002 @ 11:31 pm i dont like mother at the moment
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: techno song i was listening to in the car that one night!!
so im home...wishing i wasnt. i was supposed to go out with clay & all of them but nooooo, the dumb cunt that i have for a mother decided that i wasnt allowed to do anything at all tonight. b/c of the way i treated her last night...i dont care she fucking deserved it god dammit. i called her today when i got home & said i was sorry & everything & while i was saying i was sorry she got a fucking attitude with me!! ohhhh man...if amanda wasnt here i would have done something bad. but yeah so clay got kicked out of his house again (god i fucking hate his dad right now) & so he probably might move within this weekend. that made me very upset. & my mom STILL wouldnt let me go out with them even tho she knows that this might be the last night i get to see him. & she made me come with her to my grandmas house but before we let clay & kory & brent come over for a minute so just incase this is the last night i would get to see him..i at least got to see him. ya know? wow...my night just got made..haha amanda knows what im talking about.but yeah so i have to call clayton in a minute. so maggies a dumbass but i still love her. haha. so listen to this...well ya know how i have been staying up at all hours of the night talking to somone on the phone??? well my mom was bitching at me today about how i stay on the phone at night when im not supposed to & i told her that i dont stay on the phone at night & shes like "well why else are you ALWAYS tired??" & i was like "i dont know" & so now shes gonna make an appointment for me to go see some kind of 'doctor' & i would have to get blood taken & all this weird shit. isnt that fucking gay? what a dumbass i must say. yeah & listen to this dumb shit....im getting :looks: from fucking roger when i pass him in the halls. uhm well number one i should not be getting looks at all from anyone b/c I DIDNT DO SHIT...& number two, the only person i should be getting looks from is tj. but uhmmm well since I DIDNT DO SHIT i shouldnt be getting looks from him either so im getting pretty sick of this shit. its sooo dumb.just leave me the fuck alone...were FINALLY broken up so whats the use in having your dumb friends give me shit now???? christ. ok im done...domt feel like getting in a bad mood. this week has been the greatest b/c of this whole break up so yeah im not gonna ruin it.
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Oct. 17th, 2002 @ 04:36 pm im in an awfully good mood
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: GC cd
so today went as well as the other ones this week. right now im like in such a good mood. but amanda just left so thats no good. :( & she was here to keep me in a good mood. but thats alright man. and her dad gave me an orange lollipop hehe. i talked to jordan last night...i guess the only reason he called me names was b/c he was mad that i did that stuff. but oh well. yeah so im listening to the good charlotte cd right now & thats also keeping me in a good mood. i should go practice the drums in a minute. ill probably do that while im burning maggies cd b/c im gonna burn her the GC cd & bring it to her b/c she didnt have a good day. today was seans birthday. awww he was so cute in p.e. haha some girls gave him birthday balloons & one of them said "happy birthday princess" on it & so at first he was like "oh my god what the fuck" but then he got a kick out of it. and he kept going "im a pretty princess!!" it was sooooo cute. i was cracking up. god that kids great. and im friends with thelunch lady baby. well the snack bar lady. she saves me big cookies everyday & today she gave me an icey for free. ha. oh guess what.....he read the shit about him the other day. HA! good i wanted him to. now he thinks that i think hes a pussy for that shit....well i do so its all good. thats what i was shooting for. but im gonna go burn this cd for her now & then take it to her.

*MAGGIE I HEART YOU....ITS OK!*
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Oct. 16th, 2002 @ 09:07 pm great day i tell you!
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: superman's dead::our lady peace
so yeah i had a wonderful day. yesterday was pretty great too. yesterday i was in the best of moods & i got home & talked to clay right away & then my cousin mark called me!! oh my god i was sooooo happy! i miss him terribly. he said he wants to come down here for spring break so if he does he would be staying with me....that would be absolute greatness too b/c that means we would be partying every night baby. then i talked to gary also. that also made me happy. it was just a good day. & then today was even better. as you can tell from my last journal. yeah then i called maggie & left a wonderful message on the answering machine, & told her everything that happened today & last night. i got her in a really good mood also. then amanda was in a good mood also & we had a good time on the way home. oh yeahhhh!! & i talked to jesse yesterday!! hes a cool cat i tell ya. i love that kid. wooo opps but yeah changing the subject now. yea & yesterday my cousin was singing to me on the phone in a girl voice.oh it was funny. but yeah so i slept for about 2 hours today after school. b/c someone keeps me up at all hours of the night on the phone. so after i woke up my mom got me dinner & then she took me to get some shit & then on the way home she got me some strawberry milk & a nutrageous candy bar. mmmmmmm! then i got home & saw that clay called but i decided that im gonna get on here & write in here & then call him back. & i went to wendys today with clay brent & some other kid. clay kept trying to steal mine & amandas note book but i prevented it from happening. but yeah so im gonna go now & get my shit done b/c im still a little tired so ill probably go to sleep kinda early tonight....thats if clay lets me dammit.
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Oct. 16th, 2002 @ 05:10 pm FUCK YEAH!
Current Mood: ecstatic
I AM OFFICIALLY SINGLE BABY!!! oh my god you do not know how happy i am! ive been waiting to say that for like a week & a half now. im really am oh so happy. ive been telling like everyone all day. yeah & listen to this....i was walking through the hallways today going somewhere & it was during tj's lunch period & i was playing with my watch so i was looking down & then i looked up & it was tj devon roger billy & someone else i think, & roger goes "hey.......tj says its over between you guys" & i go "yuuup" & kept walking. do you know how happy i was when i heard that!??? yeah but tj couldnt even fucking look at me. yeah so hes been avoiding me & not talking to me or anything anymore. he couldnt even fucking tell me or let me know that we broke up. uhmm how fucking pussy is that shit!?? ::yeah tj i hope your reading this..so does amanda & maggie:: so i pretty much think tjs a pussy for that, like seriously. thats sooooooo gay & immature. but im glad its all over & done with! & about the whole thing with me & clay "going at it & 'dry humping' each other" on joes couch in his van.....uhm wtf???? where the hell did you get that bullshit from? we werent doing anything like that so dont start shit & shut the fuck up. god damn. even tho i should be like all 'heart broken' or at least upset or something...im not. im actually very happy. tj seriously just made my day. & he made my day yesterday by showing me that things were gonna be over. so yeah thank you tj. but so i guess he thinks i cheated on him & shit & probably hates me but guess what......i really dont give a flying FUCK. i mean i didnt want to break up with him & us hate each other but right now im at the point where i dont care. but yeah im done talking about it b/c i have a lot of jumping for joy to do since im single finally.

**BIG BIG YAY!!**
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Oct. 15th, 2002 @ 05:42 pm hell yes
Current Mood: happy
LahngDixonCyder [5:29 PM]: did you break up\
LilRedBabe169 [5:30 PM]: nope not yet...whens it gonna happen??
LahngDixonCyder [5:30 PM]: i dunno
LilRedBabe169 [5:30 PM]: dammit
LahngDixonCyder [5:30 PM]: why dont you break up with him
LilRedBabe169 [5:30 PM]: b/c id rather him break up with me
LahngDixonCyder [5:30 PM]: im sure he wants to, he says he doesnt talk to you
LahngDixonCyder [5:31 PM]: and that hes sick of you
LilRedBabe169 [5:31 PM]: yeah he hasnt talked to me all weekend
LilRedBabe169 [5:31 PM]: yay
LilRedBabe169 [5:31 PM]: i mean oh thats too bad
LahngDixonCyder [5:31 PM]: just break up with him
LilRedBabe169 [5:31 PM]: i want him to break up with me
LahngDixonCyder [5:31 PM]: why wait for him to do it
LilRedBabe169 [5:31 PM]: i dono id just rather it be that way
LilRedBabe169 [5:32 PM]: cuz i have this thing where if i like or liked someone a lot id rather them break up with me instead
LahngDixonCyder [5:32 PM]: oh
LahngDixonCyder [5:32 PM]: well ill make sure he does it soon
LilRedBabe169 [5:32 PM]: thank you
LahngDixonCyder [5:34 PM]: do you like someone else or something
LilRedBabe169 [5:34 PM]: no
LilRedBabe169 [5:34 PM]: im so sick of having a b/f tho
LahngDixonCyder [5:35 PM]: oh
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Oct. 12th, 2002 @ 01:38 pm oh my god
you know....i wasnt going to go write in here about you. you just always assume shit. yeah.."prolly writin shit about me in your live journal" ??? uhm no. i am now b/c that just mad me mad. oh and, "fuckin call me" ?? yeaaah... um im sorry but when someone orders me around im defiantly not gonna do what they tell me to. especially when you say it like that god dammit.


ok im done im not gonna get in a bad mood today.
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